Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Way To A Man's Heart~ The Second Stage Of Love For Men Is "Decision"

If you have made it this far,
good job on jumping the hurdles through
stage one of a man's love, girls!
You have made the first cut.
But, don't get too comfortable.
No victory dance yet.
Let's see what guys are thinking regarding
the second stage of love, Decision.
NOT ME!!!!!

"Second stage of love for men: DECISION
decision- 1 a : the act or process of deciding b : a determination arrived at after consideration : CONCLUSION
2 : a report of a conclusion
3 : promptness and firmness in deciding : DETERMINATION
4 a : WIN; specifically : a victory in boxing decided on points b : a win or loss officially credited to a pitcher in baseball

Decisions, decisions, life is full of them. Big decisions or small decisions every decision we make can drastically alter the course of any plan we attempt to implement. With all the decisions we have to make in life, who has time to waste thinking about what kind of woman to settle down with. Life is to stressful to have to narrow down a perfect choice for a woman. And women, I am sure you have way more important things in this day and time to think about other than deciding on which MAN to choose right.
WRONG! It sounds real self assuring and excellent to our ego to say we don't spend time deciding on which man or woman would be right for us. The truth is, it may just consume a large portion of our mind, body and soul. Men, why make a decision anyway, when you can be perfectly happy with a harem of women and the only decision you need to make is your place or mine.

What goes through a man's mind when it time to make a decision on choosing a particular woman? Men have certain qualifiers and preliminaries that they feel women have to pass. She is real clean, she has a sense of humor, she is not too controlling(on the surface)and most importantly she is attempting to achieve the same things in life that you are. So what happens to men after they find a woman that has jumped that initial hurdle. I tell you what happens. The second stage of love for men kicks in. DECISION. With so many women available to men, deciding on one may be the last thing on a mans mind. But when that special lady begins to capture the heart of a man, MEN start to act strange. They begin to run out of excuses. You know all the excuses men come up with to avoid commitment. During the decision phase of a mans path towards love he starts to realize that play time is over and it is time to pick the woman of his choice. All childhood behaviors and immature views towards women begin to fade away. No longer can the man just settle for one night stands and wild flings that lead to no where. At this point, the man starts to see that the women he attracts are very serious and those women are threw with wasting time. With such a realization, this is the stage that most men rarely get past and they would rather stay within their cocoon of promiscuity and run from change and stability for more years to come.

Ladies if you get frustrated or have been hurt because you are waiting for a man to commit to you, now you know the cause. It is the mans inability to decide that is holding up your commitment plans. And can you blame men. See, men can't decide because where women see marriage and commitment men see PRISON TERMS. Instead of white picket fences, men see balls and chains. Men see the years just peeling away. Men see all their days routinely being the same. Men see marriage as one big GROUNDHOG DAY where everyday is exactly the same and happiness is a thing of the past. The way to get a man to decide to be with you is to always keep things fresh and new. Always keep the man guessing. A man will not DECIDE to settle down with you if he feels he will be trapped in the long run. A man will never be loyal to a woman if she bores him, constantly complains or is far to CONTROLLING.

I know this spells danger for all you career driven women, but if you want to make a man decide to be with you instead of one of all the other millions of fresh fish in the sea, make the decision easy for him. GIVE MEN THEIR SPACE WHILE GIVING THEM PLENTY OF ATTENTION. If you as a woman understand space and the power of being elusive, a man will make a decision to deal with you 9 times out of 10. Men are like children when it comes to narrowing down the right woman. They are like children because they want their cake and ice cream(lots of woman). And like a child you better believe they want to eat their goodies too. Most men, not all may view woman as numbers or "goodies", but eventually this view wears thin and value instead of superficiality starts to arise inside a mans mind. When it comes to this second stage of love for men, women should treat men's inability to make a decision as you would treat a child's. The more often you do that, the more you will men come around to marriage and commitment and they will no longer waste your time or act like children. Placing this demand on men and knowing how to treat them when they procrastinate will force them to grow without making them feel TRAPPED."
I think he lost me at "Give men their space while giving them plenty of attention". How do you give a man space while still giving him lots of attention? I personally have always given my man plenty of freedom, but maybe too much.
I let my previous fiance go to Mexico to surf and party with his buddy for the enter weekend once a month for a few years.
Too much space= a recipe for disaster.
Lesson learned.
How much space do you give your man or
think is appropriate when you are in a committed relationship?
And, do you think men are right to worry,
is marriage really just one big GROUNDHOG DAY?
Love and light,

Photo credit: Johnny Depp from photobucket.

1 comment:

BonjourRomance said...

Bonjour Christina,
Yeah he lost me at the same point. No, marriage is definitely not one big Groundhog Day. Spending time together just makes your love grow more, and I find that makes you want to spend your 'free time' together!

You're right - When you love someone you don't want to go off and jeopardise that in any way (ie: Mexico, too many "out with the boys/girls" ).
When you do find your true love, both need to give 100% - a pearl of wisdom from my Dad!
Great series Christina,
P.S. Hope you received my mast email, I'm so excited about it all!