Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Way To A Man's Heart~ The First Stage Of Love For Men Is "Chance"

What is a way to a man's heart? My girlfriend and I have been having this discussion for as long as I have know her. Actually for 30 years. Why is it I always had a boyfriend or husband (but, never at the same time!) and why was she always single? What was I doing that she wasn't to snag the perfect guy? You know finding, Mr. Right, not Mr. Right now. You would think thirty years later with both our college educated and professional brains we could have figured out a solid plan of action of how to take a man to his knees and to love a gal forever. Let's take a look at the different love stages for men, starting today with stage one "Chance" to help clarify the mystery of men and what they may be thinking.

"First stage of love for men: CHANCE
chance- 1 a : something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause b : the assumed impersonal purposeless determiner of unaccountable happenings : LUCK c : the fortuitous or incalculable element in existence : CONTINGENCY
2 : a situation favoring some purpose : OPPORTUNITY
3 : a fielding opportunity in baseball
4 a : the possibility of a particular outcome in an uncertain situation; also : the degree of likelihood of such an outcome b : plural : the more likely indications
5 a : RISK b : a raffle ticket

Men, isn't this world great. You can travel anywhere in the world and always be outnumbered by women. That is excellent. You can have two women, three women, four women. Heck, why not shoot for Wilt Chamberlains record and score in the hundreds and thousands. Now that is heaven isn't it? Wait a minute, if that is heaven, then every man in the world should be in bliss. For some reason as a man, I don't feel blissful. There are millions of women to choose from, but I always get the strange feeling that out of these millions of women, some of them may be dangerous for me. That's right fellas dangerous. Do we really want a women that looks good but isn't too bright upstairs. Yeah she has a gorgeous face and big breasts, but there is that voice in your head saying that I can't bring this woman home to my mother. This conflict between the SUPERFICIAL AND DEEP (SUBSTANCE) is the foundation for how men weigh or assess how he loves a woman. This foundation is called the first stage of love which is CHANCE.

Abundance in women may seem like a man's playground, but to a man it mostly ends up to be a misleading hell. As a man gets older and wiser he realizes that he can't continue to deal with women the same way as he did in his youth. With age man starts to yearn more and more for a defined sense of accomplishment. This sense of accomplishment is most often identified and polished with a woman that can be his compliment. A woman that parallels his thoughts and emotions. A woman that can help him learn and realize things about himself and his environment that he by himself could never realize. This is the woman that most men really want. However, the key words are WOMAN. NOT WOMEN. It is this singular/plural distinction that some times scares men. With all the beautiful women out there, how do you choose a women that won't tear you down and destroy all of your accomplishments? Ladies, this is the question that men ask themselves that you never hear. This is what is called RISK ASSESSMENT OR RISK MANAGEMENT. What is known as CHANCE.

Men take a tremendous CHANCE or gamble when settling with a women. Lots of fears and quiet panic attacks start to hit men of all ages when they SETTLE DOWN. Whether it is marriage or just non-contractual COMMITMENT(business partnership) men ALWAYS and I repeat ALWAYS are faced with the fact that they can no longer deal with plenty of women when they settle down. Choosing ONE out of the bunch takes serious calculations. Is she hygienic, is she smart, is she agreeable(respectful), how is she in public, is she willing to carry on a legacy for the future? To all the women, you don't hear this and may not see this acted out, but this is constantly weighed in a man's mind. When thinking about the future men don't think about breasts, we think about how can this women handle any unforeseen event that may come into our lives. When trying to define and achieve purpose in life, we don't care if the women has nice legs, we ask ourself what can she contribute to further the goals that we set for ourself. All of this deals with risk. One bad choice in when choosing a women can set a man back for years. And in one fatal decision a bad risk(chance) can blow all the work he has accomplished up until that point.

So ladies, yes men love sexy women. We love the way you smell and the way you move. Yes, we love all of that, but when choosing a mate to settle down with, WE DON'T CARE how gorgeous you are. No amount of looks is worth the chance of MISERY. It is nothing more disappointing to realize that you have chosen a good looking barbie doll that can't even begin to envision the plans you set forth for the future. The chance that men take in cutting off all the potential mates that exist is a scary CHANCE that men gamble with each and every time they deal with a women. Even having many sexual partners is a CHANCE(RISK) that claims the lives of millions of men. And yes women also take chances, but CHANCE is far less of a priority for women because women have a radar that can detect the initial value of a man within the first ten seconds. That radar is signalled by a man's shoes, by the tone of his voice, or just by the simple way the man has approached them. Unfortunately for men, our radar is a little more slanted by a women's nice frame and the GOD-LIKE symmetry of her face. With such a disparaging contrast in how the opposite sex chooses a significant other, men have a lot more assessing to do then women because well lets face it, a women's cards(bodily assets) are more visible then a mans. With such a disarming disadvantage, a man has to do a lot more piercing through a woman's veil to see who the woman is on the inside. That inner women that really makes a women shine and makes a man feel proud when she is walking side by side with him.

So next time any woman asks or questions as to why men have trouble with commitment, just remember it is not trouble, it is just the fact that settling down is by far one of men's most riskiest decisions of his life. And merging the voice of SUPERFICIAL with the voice of the DEEP(SUBSTANCE) takes time and discipline."


So, what do you think? Does this ring true for you men out there or make you rethink your dating strategy ladies?
Or, does it make you shiver in anxiety about your precious children dating and what you need to teach them? I am so thankful Christian hates girls right now at the tender age of 6!

Thanks for stopping by, dear friend.
Have yourself one special day,


BonjourRomance said...

I missed this one. Lots of good points here. The most important thing is what is on the inside. A good lesson to put as much effort into our inside as we do on the outside.
Christian will have lots of good advice when the time comes!
Good weekend,

Anniversary Flowers said...

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