Tuesday, February 2, 2010

His First Little Heartbreak... And Mine

As many of you may already know, I have a 5 1/2 year old son.
And I am no different than any parent wanting to shield my child from any silly mistakes, hurts or pitfalls in life. I thought I had it all handled for the most part as a parent for a 5 year old.
But, I find myself quite helpless when he cried to me about his friend that is a girl telling me she told him she likes another boy today and didn't want to go on our play date with my son that was somewhat scheduled.
He cried and cried from the bottom of his little soul that seemed like eternity.
Is this only the beginning of me losing control over his safety in the world and not able to shield him from the hurt and pain I surely know he will endure at some level?

And, what is it about seeing your child cry over heartbreak or being rejected that brings the heartbreak to your heart as well? Almost as if you are feeling a past heartbreak come back for just a moment.
Any suggestions on how to handle a child's broken heart, hurt feelings and the such, even at tender age of 5?
My husband suggests not doing play dates for a while with this girl (we have been doing them once a week) so my son doesn't get his feelings hurt when she cancels at the last moment. Maybe this can help elevate some of the pain in the interim and take a little power back. And, instead making plans with other boys to have play dates to get him excited about and connect with.
I truly thought I had been done with heartbreak, for the most part, in my life. Now, I realize that I will be a parent living through and supporting my son's rejections, hurts & heartbreaks for as long as I shall live. It's only just begun...
I'm putting on my seat belt for the ride of my life.
If you are a parent, do you feel the same as I? Any suggestions? (Other than call her Mom and tell her how mean she was to my son today! LOL)


vicki archer said...

You are so right Christina...it is only just the beginning. The best way is to divert his attention away from that little girl with other friends - that will boost his confidence too. The hardest thing as a mother is watching them get hurt time and again, knowing that these things must happen and that we are powerless to intervene most of the time. On the other hand you will be surprised at how resilient he is...He will probably come bouncing through the door with a new best friend tomorrow, the other girl all forgotten. Good luck, xv.

BonjourRomance said...

Bonjour Christina,
Sorry for your sweet little boy, they are so sensitive. SOunds like you and your husband are doing the right things to make it a bit easier for Him; How lucky he is to have such caring parents.

Scientific Housewife said...

Aww, poor thing. The beginning of relationships and he's so young. He should probably stay away for a little so his little heart can mend.

janettaylor said...

Oh no, so sorry, but U are so right and U are a good parent...

childrens jewellery said...

Thanks for that! Enjoyed the read!

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Oh, your poor little fella....it's so hard to watch them hurt. My daughter is nearly 39 and has actually JUST learned to defend herself in appropriate ways. She used to just take whatever anyone had to "give" her....and endure the pain. So, for at least 38 years I cried for her. Now, I'm a grandma....my little grandson has Asperger's Syndrome so there's LOTS of that kind of thing that goes on with him.....and it totally breaks my heart.

I'm sorry you're going through this....I pray it will be as pain free as possible for your son and for you!...

Warm blessings,

JBeaudetStudios said...

Poor little guy. He's so young to learn about heartbreak. I feel the smae way about my daughter about boyfriends and friend problems. I sometimes think it hurts me more than it does her! I wish I had advise to give. I try to think how I felt back then and to remember that time heals almost everything. Jennfier:)

Kristin said...

Ohhhhhhh no. Poor little munchkin. I can't take it when he cries with desperation when I tell him he can't have something. I can only imagine what's to come. Hang in there mama!

Lizzy said...

Oohh! Poor little boy! I know how you feel, my 7 years old daughter had her first broken heart too, she told me her friend "quit" her, I was gonna laugh because of her expresion, but as soon as I saw her face and her eyes in tears I felt so sad to , feeling like calling his mom and telling her why her boy did that to my little girl.
All I did was to tell her she might feel that way because she likes him a lot, and I tryed to make her see she loves him as a friend, I mean, I wanted her not to feel sad because of LOVE, I told her she was very young and in the future she will know what love is, she replied to me "Mom, but I AM feeling this NOW" .............uuppssss, my heart was broken also.
I told her he will continue being her friend and that boys are just like that!!!....HONESTY I knew someday I will have that talk with my daughter, BUT never taught at the age of 7.
I told her not to be sad, I hugged her, and told her it was for sure he won't remember he "quit" her and I was sure they will continue being friends, and that was true, as they are kids they forget easly, they continue being friends and hang out in the school and she doesn't tell me anything about being sad anymore.

Rossetti Marketing said...

Ah - poor little sweetie....I know exactly how you feel! And, yes - it's just the beginning....It's so vital, though, that he experiences disappointment, even heartache at a young age while he is still coming to you for guidance and support. I really think our kids are sheltered so much these days and then when they are in high school and experience real rejection they have no tools to cope! And, God forbid, they turn to other unsavory coping methods because they are teenagers and at that stage in their lives we parents "don't know anything"...It's why it’s so important for us to be there to teach them coping skills at Five.... Used to be that not every kid made the team (if you didn't make the cut you had to work harder and try again) and they actually kept score (sometimes you DON'T win - so practice hard and try again)....Learning how to deal with rejection and disappointment is a critical life skill. Thank goodness Christian has you to guide him through these feelings of hurt and teach him how to cope. He'll recover and be stronger for the experience (so will you sweetie - I promise)
Love you!