Love, What Does It Mean To You?

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” Robert Heinlein.

“Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life.” Aphra Behn.

Romantic love to me is when you want to share everything in life with them, you just can't stand to be without them, and when you think of them you smile. And, they just do it for you in every way possible and challenge you to be the best person you can possibly be. And, it sure helps if you like to spend your spare time the same way and you have the same goals and values. Hey, other than that, it's a piece of cake. Right?

What is romantic love to you?

Love and light,
Christina

Quotes found at quotes for anniversary.

Photo found at Photobucket.

Happy 4th of July with Lenny Kravitz's "American Woman"

"American woman, stay away from me
American woman, mama let me be
Don't come hanging around my door
I don't want to see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin' old with you
Now woman, stay away
American woman, listen what I say

American woman, get away from me
American woman, mama let me be
Don't come knocking around my door
I don't want to see your shadow no more
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else's eyes
Now woman, get away
American woman, listen what I say

American woman, I said get way
American woman, listen what I say
Don't come hanging around my door
Don't want to see your face no more
I don't need your war machines
I don't need your ghetto scenes
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else's eyes
Now woman, get away
American woman, listen what I say
American woman, stay away from me
American woman, mama let me be

I gotta go
I gotta getta away
Babe I gotta go
I wanna fly away
I'm gonna leave you woman
I'm gonna leave you woman
I'm gonna leave you woman
I'm gonna leave you woman
Bye bye, bye bye...
Bye bye, bye bye
American woman.....
And you're no good for me
And I'm no good for you
I look you right straight in the eye
And tell you what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna leave you woman
You know I gotta go
I'm gonna leave you woman
I gotta go
I gotta go

I gotta go
American woman
Yeah"

I think this song by Lenny Kravitz is perfect to party with poolside today to celebrate our American freedom. There is something so empowering about the line "And you're no good for me, And, I'm no good for you." that resonates for me today. I can say there have been a few men that I knew from the start were not good for me. I went along for the ride anyway and didn't listen to my intuition. And, got burned. But, to have the foresight to say "bye, bye" because of that nagging intuition can take every ounce of courage in your being and hurts like heck. But, you hope that in the long run less tears will be shed for all.

Enjoy your 4th of July, dear friends!

Have you ever just had to say "bye, bye" to save yourself from someone that you knew wasn't good for you or from a bad situation? Were you better for it? Or, did you wonder if you really made the right decision later?

Love and light,

Christina

Photo credit: Photobucket and video from youtube.com.

Why Do Men Cheat? The Third Stage Of Love For Men Is Fidelity

Well girls, your dream man has finally worked through the "decide" stage of love and has decided to be committed to you. Now, the next stage is where it gets tricky. As you give him the space he craves, a ton of loving attention, possibly are creating a home, working and raising children; he on the other hand is battling with ongoing fidelity issues. Fidelity is the third stage of love for men and is quite an eye opener.

~~

THIS ARTICLE WAS FOUND AT

The 5 Stages of Love For Men

AND

WRITTEN BY A MAN, NOT ME!!!!!!!

"Loyalty- the quality or state or an instance of being loyal
synonym see FIDELITY

Loyal- 1 : unswerving in allegiance: as a : faithful in allegiance to one's lawful sovereign or government b : faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due c : faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product
2 : showing loyalty
3 : obsolete : LAWFUL, LEGITIMATE
synonym see FAITHFUL


Why do men cheat? First of all men do not cheat. Cheating implies that we (MEN AND WOMEN) are playing some sort of game. If both partners in a relationship are serious then nobody is playing any games. To understand MENS approach towards women you have to explore the deepest parts of their mind. If we all want to get out of the crisis that is American relationships then I am sorry but we are going to have to get SCIENTIFIC. The only three words to counter that would be TESTOSTERONE! TESTOSTERONE! TESTOSTERONE! It is this chemical that flows in large proportions throughout men that gives men that good old fashion SEX URGE. That urge to look at countless women while at the same time holding hands with the woman we love. That urge that gives men the capacity to be with woman after woman just for the sex of it instead of the emotional connection. Ladies men don't cheat, men follow the course of what nature has decreed to be the chief chemical that makes them seek as many sexual encounters as possible. Does this mean that testosterone rids men of personal responsibility? NO! Does this mean that testosterone gives all men an access pass authorized by nature to allow men to be WRECKLESS in their relationship? NO! What it does mean though is that a man BY NATURE is designed to go from woman to woman? A mans sex urges flow through his body every hour. That is man's cycle. The cycle may take place in actual thoughts or it may show itself as the sheer stimulation that a man feels just because of the makeup of testosterone. Compare this cycle with the 28 days of a woman. To compare the two and say that men are just like women would be absolutely ridiculous. Since the main chemical that regulate the makeup of women is ESTROGEN, the concept of going from person to person may seem somewhat immoral and non-committal to women. This would also mean that NATURE would allow MEN to be barbaric and savage with the inability to settle down and be a part of a loving relationship with a woman. So to solve this problem NATURE being all purposeful and all knowing came up with the solution of having more then one MARITAL SYSTEM.

What does all this talk of SCIENCE AND MARITAL SYSTEMS have to do with INFIDELITY and men being unfaithful? It means that the way in which we choose to commit and the type of marital system that we choose to operate under is a hidden cause of unfaithfulness. If the women far outnumber men in the world by the millions we have to totally re-evaluate whether or not MONOGAMY OR INDUSTRIAL marriage is the best choice for a society that promotes promiscuity and does not take into account the MAJOR differences that make both genders different and unique. So called cheating is committed by a man in one of two ways. The mans decision to cheat is either PREMEDITATED OR SPONTANEOUS. To fully understand how each one takes place means delving into the deepest part of a MAN'S NATURE. Once the man becomes bored and uninterested in a relationship then his mind starts to wonder. If the woman becomes nagging and a nuisance then the man will slowly consider the relationship a burden instead of a benefit. Remember ladies, men in some ways are like children so it is very important to be aware when your man is becoming disinterested. It is at this point that the idea of having another woman may be more temping to him. He starts to contemplate dealing with someone else without you knowing about it. To most men the idea of having a wife to settle down with and live his nice wholesome life as well as a mistress that doesn't stress him out and is available for the man to talk to without any friction is very appealing. This falls along the lines of Premeditated cheating. On the end is the spontaneous cheating. This happens on the whim. This isn't planned and it doesn't occur because the man is becoming dissatisfied. This occurs because the man has the opportunity to deal with another woman and simply because he can deal with one he will deal with one. Just because a man deals with another woman doesn't mean that he loves the woman or cares about her, it just means that the man has succumb to his urges and has temporarily discarded his commitments.

This type of behavior is detrimental and can cause serious heartache to the woman that gives her heart and time to a man just have him deal with another woman. Ladies to avoid this you may have to embrace the notion of allowing your man to have more then one WIFE. marriage. Industrial marriage deals with one man and one woman. Monogamy is just one parent or single parent household contrary to popular belief. Industrial marriage is set up to stabilize the household because both parents have to work outside the home. This type of marriage is setup up out of forced conditions not necessarily loving and feeling conditions. Monogamy or single parent households are the result of extreme conditions and leave the one parent with no other choice but to take on the role of MOTHER AND FATHER. To eliminate this, POLYGAMY will organize an other wise chaotic institution of marriage into one that is organized and spiritual. Men going from woman to woman is both the calling of nature and at most times the calling of a high level of insecurity and false masculinity on the part of men. Regardless of which marital system you choose to settle down and marry into, the most important thing is to seriously assess the maturity level of the man you choose. It doesn't matter if you are or the system is organize, a man has to first learn DISCIPLINE. POLYGAMY DOES NOT GUARANTEE THAT A MAN WILL BE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE. It is a system. And like all systems it has to operated in a certain way. And in this system the woman chooses who the other wives should be. To operate under this system the man has to be strong and a warrior. Not someone that is concerned with being a PIMP. He has to be serious about life and business. And ironically, this same seriousness is also needed if you decide to practice the more common marriages that we practice today. The moral of this story is that the man is the MORAL. In any relationship a man has a vow to be upfront with the woman he chooses and avoid the pitfalls of acting forever young and refusing to GROW UP, BE MEN AND START LEADING WOMEN IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION."
~~~~~~~~~~

Is this guy a Mormon and actually for real? He had me thinking he had some validity, but now I am seriously questioning his sanity.

According to him we should just let our husband have two wives because the poor guy has a surge of testosterone running through is veins every hour? REALLY?

And, I am sure that would just take care of ALL the infidelity issues, right? Jeez, why stop at two wives, why not just do an even dozen so he can have a harem and give him lots of options. So, basically your husband regresses back to his old single days with his harem intact and all us poor wives stay loyal to this dead beat as we wait our turn for him?

Makes perfect sense to me... not.

I would love to hear what you think of this one!

(I just remembered a sweet Mormon boy that I dated in High School must have been grooming me to be his "head wife". His crazy mother would show me the recent baby clothes she had acquired for "us" every time I went over there, while her over hundred kookoo wall clocks chimed. Kookoo...kookoo. That should have been my first clue to run like hell, especially since I was only 16 years old. What a joy it would have been to be able to choose his other wives. Thank Goodness I came to my senses, otherwise I would be typing from hell, you know...Utah).


Love and light,

Christina

Photo credit: Photobucket

The Way To A Man's Heart~ The Second Stage Of Love For Men Is "Decision"

If you have made it this far,

good job on jumping the hurdles through

stage one of a man's love, girls!
You have made the first cut.

But, don't get too comfortable.

No victory dance yet.

Let's see what guys are thinking regarding

the second stage of love, Decision.

~~

THIS ARTICLE WAS FOUND AT

The 5 Stages of Love

AND

WRITTEN BY A MAN,

NOT ME!!!!!

"Second stage of love for men: DECISION
decision- 1 a : the act or process of deciding b : a determination arrived at after consideration : CONCLUSION
2 : a report of a conclusion
3 : promptness and firmness in deciding : DETERMINATION
4 a : WIN; specifically : a victory in boxing decided on points b : a win or loss officially credited to a pitcher in baseball

Decisions, decisions, life is full of them. Big decisions or small decisions every decision we make can drastically alter the course of any plan we attempt to implement. With all the decisions we have to make in life, who has time to waste thinking about what kind of woman to settle down with. Life is to stressful to have to narrow down a perfect choice for a woman. And women, I am sure you have way more important things in this day and time to think about other than deciding on which MAN to choose right.
WRONG! It sounds real self assuring and excellent to our ego to say we don't spend time deciding on which man or woman would be right for us. The truth is, it may just consume a large portion of our mind, body and soul. Men, why make a decision anyway, when you can be perfectly happy with a harem of women and the only decision you need to make is your place or mine.

What goes through a man's mind when it time to make a decision on choosing a particular woman? Men have certain qualifiers and preliminaries that they feel women have to pass. She is real clean, she has a sense of humor, she is not too controlling(on the surface)and most importantly she is attempting to achieve the same things in life that you are. So what happens to men after they find a woman that has jumped that initial hurdle. I tell you what happens. The second stage of love for men kicks in. DECISION. With so many women available to men, deciding on one may be the last thing on a mans mind. But when that special lady begins to capture the heart of a man, MEN start to act strange. They begin to run out of excuses. You know all the excuses men come up with to avoid commitment. During the decision phase of a mans path towards love he starts to realize that play time is over and it is time to pick the woman of his choice. All childhood behaviors and immature views towards women begin to fade away. No longer can the man just settle for one night stands and wild flings that lead to no where. At this point, the man starts to see that the women he attracts are very serious and those women are threw with wasting time. With such a realization, this is the stage that most men rarely get past and they would rather stay within their cocoon of promiscuity and run from change and stability for more years to come.

Ladies if you get frustrated or have been hurt because you are waiting for a man to commit to you, now you know the cause. It is the mans inability to decide that is holding up your commitment plans. And can you blame men. See, men can't decide because where women see marriage and commitment men see PRISON TERMS. Instead of white picket fences, men see balls and chains. Men see the years just peeling away. Men see all their days routinely being the same. Men see marriage as one big GROUNDHOG DAY where everyday is exactly the same and happiness is a thing of the past. The way to get a man to decide to be with you is to always keep things fresh and new. Always keep the man guessing. A man will not DECIDE to settle down with you if he feels he will be trapped in the long run. A man will never be loyal to a woman if she bores him, constantly complains or is far to CONTROLLING.

I know this spells danger for all you career driven women, but if you want to make a man decide to be with you instead of one of all the other millions of fresh fish in the sea, make the decision easy for him. GIVE MEN THEIR SPACE WHILE GIVING THEM PLENTY OF ATTENTION. If you as a woman understand space and the power of being elusive, a man will make a decision to deal with you 9 times out of 10. Men are like children when it comes to narrowing down the right woman. They are like children because they want their cake and ice cream(lots of woman). And like a child you better believe they want to eat their goodies too. Most men, not all may view woman as numbers or "goodies", but eventually this view wears thin and value instead of superficiality starts to arise inside a mans mind. When it comes to this second stage of love for men, women should treat men's inability to make a decision as you would treat a child's. The more often you do that, the more you will men come around to marriage and commitment and they will no longer waste your time or act like children. Placing this demand on men and knowing how to treat them when they procrastinate will force them to grow without making them feel TRAPPED."
~~

I think he lost me at "Give men their space while giving them plenty of attention". How do you give a man space while still giving him lots of attention? I personally have always given my man plenty of freedom, but maybe too much.

I let my previous fiance go to Mexico to surf and party with his buddy for the enter weekend once a month for a few years.

Too much space= a recipe for disaster.

Lesson learned.

How much space do you give your man or

think is appropriate when you are in a committed relationship?

And, do you think men are right to worry,

is marriage really just one big GROUNDHOG DAY?

Love and light,
Christina

Photo credit: Johnny Depp from photobucket.

The Way To A Man's Heart~ The First Stage Of Love For Men Is "Chance"

What is a way to a man's heart? My girlfriend and I have been having this discussion for as long as I have know her. Actually for 30 years. Why is it I always had a boyfriend or husband (but, never at the same time!) and why was she always single? What was I doing that she wasn't to snag the perfect guy? You know finding, Mr. Right, not Mr. Right now. You would think thirty years later with both our college educated and professional brains we could have figured out a solid plan of action of how to take a man to his knees and to love a gal forever. Let's take a look at the different love stages for men, starting today with stage one "Chance" to help clarify the mystery of men and what they may be thinking.

~~
THE BELOW WAS TAKEN FROM

The Five Stages Of Love

AND WRITTEN BY A MAN, NOT ME!!!!

"First stage of love for men: CHANCE
chance- 1 a : something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause b : the assumed impersonal purposeless determiner of unaccountable happenings : LUCK c : the fortuitous or incalculable element in existence : CONTINGENCY
2 : a situation favoring some purpose : OPPORTUNITY
3 : a fielding opportunity in baseball
4 a : the possibility of a particular outcome in an uncertain situation; also : the degree of likelihood of such an outcome b : plural : the more likely indications
5 a : RISK b : a raffle ticket

Men, isn't this world great. You can travel anywhere in the world and always be outnumbered by women. That is excellent. You can have two women, three women, four women. Heck, why not shoot for Wilt Chamberlains record and score in the hundreds and thousands. Now that is heaven isn't it? Wait a minute, if that is heaven, then every man in the world should be in bliss. For some reason as a man, I don't feel blissful. There are millions of women to choose from, but I always get the strange feeling that out of these millions of women, some of them may be dangerous for me. That's right fellas dangerous. Do we really want a women that looks good but isn't too bright upstairs. Yeah she has a gorgeous face and big breasts, but there is that voice in your head saying that I can't bring this woman home to my mother. This conflict between the SUPERFICIAL AND DEEP (SUBSTANCE) is the foundation for how men weigh or assess how he loves a woman. This foundation is called the first stage of love which is CHANCE.

Abundance in women may seem like a man's playground, but to a man it mostly ends up to be a misleading hell. As a man gets older and wiser he realizes that he can't continue to deal with women the same way as he did in his youth. With age man starts to yearn more and more for a defined sense of accomplishment. This sense of accomplishment is most often identified and polished with a woman that can be his compliment. A woman that parallels his thoughts and emotions. A woman that can help him learn and realize things about himself and his environment that he by himself could never realize. This is the woman that most men really want. However, the key words are WOMAN. NOT WOMEN. It is this singular/plural distinction that some times scares men. With all the beautiful women out there, how do you choose a women that won't tear you down and destroy all of your accomplishments? Ladies, this is the question that men ask themselves that you never hear. This is what is called RISK ASSESSMENT OR RISK MANAGEMENT. What is known as CHANCE.

Men take a tremendous CHANCE or gamble when settling with a women. Lots of fears and quiet panic attacks start to hit men of all ages when they SETTLE DOWN. Whether it is marriage or just non-contractual COMMITMENT(business partnership) men ALWAYS and I repeat ALWAYS are faced with the fact that they can no longer deal with plenty of women when they settle down. Choosing ONE out of the bunch takes serious calculations. Is she hygienic, is she smart, is she agreeable(respectful), how is she in public, is she willing to carry on a legacy for the future? To all the women, you don't hear this and may not see this acted out, but this is constantly weighed in a man's mind. When thinking about the future men don't think about breasts, we think about how can this women handle any unforeseen event that may come into our lives. When trying to define and achieve purpose in life, we don't care if the women has nice legs, we ask ourself what can she contribute to further the goals that we set for ourself. All of this deals with risk. One bad choice in when choosing a women can set a man back for years. And in one fatal decision a bad risk(chance) can blow all the work he has accomplished up until that point.

So ladies, yes men love sexy women. We love the way you smell and the way you move. Yes, we love all of that, but when choosing a mate to settle down with, WE DON'T CARE how gorgeous you are. No amount of looks is worth the chance of MISERY. It is nothing more disappointing to realize that you have chosen a good looking barbie doll that can't even begin to envision the plans you set forth for the future. The chance that men take in cutting off all the potential mates that exist is a scary CHANCE that men gamble with each and every time they deal with a women. Even having many sexual partners is a CHANCE(RISK) that claims the lives of millions of men. And yes women also take chances, but CHANCE is far less of a priority for women because women have a radar that can detect the initial value of a man within the first ten seconds. That radar is signalled by a man's shoes, by the tone of his voice, or just by the simple way the man has approached them. Unfortunately for men, our radar is a little more slanted by a women's nice frame and the GOD-LIKE symmetry of her face. With such a disparaging contrast in how the opposite sex chooses a significant other, men have a lot more assessing to do then women because well lets face it, a women's cards(bodily assets) are more visible then a mans. With such a disarming disadvantage, a man has to do a lot more piercing through a woman's veil to see who the woman is on the inside. That inner women that really makes a women shine and makes a man feel proud when she is walking side by side with him.

So next time any woman asks or questions as to why men have trouble with commitment, just remember it is not trouble, it is just the fact that settling down is by far one of men's most riskiest decisions of his life. And merging the voice of SUPERFICIAL with the voice of the DEEP(SUBSTANCE) takes time and discipline."
~~

So, what do you think? Does this ring true for you men out there or make you rethink your dating strategy ladies?
Or, does it make you shiver in anxiety about your precious children dating and what you need to teach them? I am so thankful Christian hates girls right now at the tender age of 6!

Thanks for stopping by, dear friend.
Have yourself one special day,
Christina